ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
