Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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