i may or may not be watching the land before time
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I'm really busy with my period
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