I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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