just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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