I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
