And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
