Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
she peed on how many people?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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