We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
