is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
