conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You ruined the universe
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
