what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
