shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
