I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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