im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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