sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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