According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
