The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
