I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
