Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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