I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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