id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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