So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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