I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
