i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
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