It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
