I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
