Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
