I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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