After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Randomize
