i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
