she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
