thus making me awesome and them whores
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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