Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
