Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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