just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
