1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
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im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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