so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
