Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
