RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I believe in your delicious
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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