it was like eating out sand paper
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
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