My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
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