i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
