We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
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