Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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