I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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