She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
