you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
