ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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