12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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