Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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