no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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