apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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