I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
