Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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