I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
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