he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
