You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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