fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
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well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
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I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?