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I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
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