He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.