Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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