is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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