singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
