Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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