No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
