Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
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